Who's Bad?

Published September 16, 2010
Category: Bec Says

Bec Says

Following on from Belinda’s last musical post, I thought I’d talk…well…words. I don’t know if anyone caught Frances Whiting’s ‘Hit Me With Your Lyric Stick’ piece in the Courier-Mail on Aug 22, but it was about the worst lyrics ever written. One of the examples she used was this rather memorable verse from Richard Harris’s Macarthur Park:

Tragedy

Someone left the cake out in the rain

I don’t think that I can take it

Cause it took so long to bake it

And I’ll never have that recipe again.

Then there’s that ‘I’ve Never Been To Me’ offering from Charlene (whatever happened to Charlene? Perhaps she finally went there & found it was too good to leave…). Frances Whiting cites one particular verse that makes her scratch her head, but the whole thing creeps me out, frankly. Check it out here and see what you think.

She also talks about The Black Eyed Peas’ My Humps lyrics… Oh, you know… ‘I’m a get get get you drunk, get you love drunk off my hump, My hump, my hump, my hump, my hump…’ (etc..you get the picture). Small wonder Fergie wet her pants. It was probably over having to sing those words. Remember when Alanis Morissette converted My Humps into a ballad, highlighting the absurdity of the lyrics?

Is Anyone Really Listening?

Then there’s Shakira, bless her. So many confounding lyrics I hardly know where to start (not that anyone’s listening to what she’s saying, anyway)… ‘lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don’t confuse them with mountains’ (because that would be most unfortunate. See: Early Mountaineering Misadventures, Vol. II, 1975. Penguin for further details). Mo Collins from Mad TV did a spoof of Shakira baby here.

Other notable mentions include Taio Cruz’s Dynamite (‘I hit the floor coz that’s my plans, plans, plans, I’m wearing all my favourite brands, brands, brands, Give me space for both my hands, hands, hands, you, you, coz it goes on and on and on’ (does it ever)… Black Lace’s Aga Doo (‘push pineapple..grind coffee’…oh, and they later released a song entitled ‘Gang Bang’, for those interested)… Toto Coelo’s I Eat Cannibals (‘your love is so edible to me…I eat cannibals’)… the romantic stylings of Nickelback and that touching, touching tune Figured You Out (‘while you’re passed out on the deck…I love my hands around your neck’..*sigh*)… and the lyrical genius that is Kesha’s Blah Blah Blah (she likes to dance with no pants on…but you’re not getting in the back of her car if you keep talking that blah blah blah…got it?).