Krista Reviews: My Heart and Other Black Holes by Jasmine Warga

A stunning novel about the transformative power of love, perfect for fans of Jay Asher and Laurie Halse Anderson.

Sixteen-year-old physics nerd Aysel is obsessed with plotting her own death. With a mother who can barely look at her without wincing, classmates who whisper behind her back, and a father whose violent crime rocked her small town, Aysel is ready to turn her potential energy into nothingness.

There’s only one problem: she’s not sure she has the courage to do it alone. But once she discovers a website with a section called Suicide Partners, Aysel’s convinced she’s found her solution—Roman, a teenage boy who’s haunted by a family tragedy, is looking for a partner. Even though Aysel and Roman have nothing in common, they slowly start to fill in each other’s broken lives. But as their suicide pact becomes more concrete, Aysel begins to question whether she really wants to go through with it. Ultimately, she must choose between wanting to die or trying to convince Roman to live so they can discover the potential of their energy together. 

Hardcover, 302 pages

Published February 10th 2015 by Balzer + Bray

original title

My Heart and Other Black Holes

ISBN

0062324675 (ISBN13: 9780062324672)

It’s expected that a novel focusing on a plan to commit suicide is going to be depressing and melancholy. There is not much that the story brings plot-wise that is not described in the synopsis. It’s a story that focuses on two characters: Aysel and Roman. They meet on an Internet suicide site and make a pact to commit suicide together.

I had a hard time trying to figure out what to say in my review of this story, as the book cover pretty much summarized the whole book. What I figured I would do was discuss my feelings about the story. It is hard to know whether the actions and feelings that the characters experience are enough to consider suicide. People lose themselves in emotions, become blind, lost, panicked, content or happy on an individual basis. It’s such a personal issue, how can  I judge whether they were justified in their thoughts?

Aysel is having a hard time at home and school. She feels constantly judged, eyes on her at school and also in her own home. She has a hard time expressing her emotions. Roman, on the other hand, feels that a part of him is missing. His actions caused harm and the guilt weighs him down so heavily that he’s lost his way.

This story is mostly about working out your feelings. Sometimes you find your way through them, but sometimes you don’t. The decision to follow through with your intentions, or finding a way to release them becomes the main objective of the book.

I personally agree that the best way to really understand how you feel is to open up. Conversation really does wonders, and when things are brought to light, the majority of the time you feel better. Since I am a strong believer in honesty, releasing emotion through conversations is the best thing for you emotionally. It depends on who’s around you though. Often releasing through writing, drawing, exercising is a good start, and both of these characters seem to have fallen into a place where they block out using that kind of release.

The message I got from the book was… don’t be afraid to talk, ask the hard questions, get to know yourself and others. I’m not going to say it was an easy book to read, or that I would recommend it to everybody. But I think that it was well presented and could really connect with some readers. There is a message here and taking some time out to really think about it, or discuss it with others, might give some people comfort.