Mandy Says:

Tobias Richard Vandevelde wakes up in a hospital bed with no recollection of how he got there, or what happened the night before. He’s horrified to learn (and so is his mother) that he was found stark naked in the dingo pen at the local wildlife park. Toby immediately blames his best friends, Fergus and Amin for setting up some sort of nasty prank, but it soon becomes clear they know nothing about it.

Things begin to get weirder after the doctors can find no good reason for Toby’s memory loss (maybe Epilepsy? Drugs? Some other kind of rare condition?) and the police are also more than a little suspicious of the teenager who claims there’s nothing wrong with him – well, not that he’s aware of, anyway. Things soon leap from just plain weird to totally bizarre when Catholic priest Father Ramon Alvarez turns up on Toby’s doorstep with the mean and scruffy looking Rueben. They seem to know things about Toby they shouldn’t – his hair grows abnormally fast, his sense of smell is almost unhuman, his reflexes are super-speedy and, most astonishingly – for Toby is adopted – he is the youngest of seven sons. Then the bizarre turns insane. The priest claims Toby is a Werewolf… and so is Rueben.

Of course, Toby and his mother know there’s no such thing as Werewolves. Their visitors are thrown out of the house and threatened with a phone call to the police. But Toby is left with a nagging feeling. What if his strange guests are right? It would explain the dingo pen thing. And the haircut problem. Toby decides to find out a little more information on his own, meeting up with Rueben and his friends. That’s when the real trouble begins…

If The Abused Werewolf Rescue Group were a movie, it would be one of those where you spend the whole time with your hands over your face, peeking through the slits in your fingers. Every step Toby takes, you just know he’s going to find himself in more trouble. The story moves along lightning-fast once it gets going and there are plenty of laugh-out-loud moments. Set in both suburban Sydney and the harsh Australian Outback, Catherine Jinks paints a great picture of Australian life, be it a little on the supernatural side. Toby is a very likeable, everyday teenager; it’s easy to go along with him in his initial disbelief of his new identity, as well as understand why he eventually comes to terms with it (and that’s without a big-bad-full-moon-change scene).

The Abused Werewolf Rescue Group is a companion book to The Reformed Vampire Support Group, also by Catherine Jinks. I have to admit, I haven’t yet read about the Vampires in Jinks’s world, and they do make a few appearances here. I was a little concerned I’d find it hard to follow without reading the first book, but the stories really are separate entities and The Abused Werewolf Rescue Group stands up well on its own. It was refreshing to read a supernatural novel with a teenaged main character who wasn’t filled with lovey-dovey angst, self-loathing or a parent with issues. Instead, I found a hysterical tale full of bumbling, dangerous characters and suspenseful drama that wouldn’t let me stop reading.

Catherine Jinks – The Abused Werewolf Rescue Group

September 27th, 2010 by Allen and Unwin Children.

Paperback – 380 pages.

ISBN – 9781742373638

Zombies versus Unicorns eh? Apparently it’s an age-old argument. Well, since 2007 anyway, when Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier began debating the virtues of each mythical creature on Justine’s blog, quickly turning the argument into a full-blown, tongue-in-cheek cyber-word-war.

The result of this word-war is the aptly titled anthology, Zombies versus Unicorns. Larbalestier is staunchly Team Zombie, while Black heads up Team Unicorn. The pair preface the twelve stories in the collection (six of each, pages marked with either a unicorn or zombie symbol) with hysterical banter that rivals the stories themselves for pure giggle-factor entertainment.

The author list is mind-numbing in a very non-Zombie kind of way; for Team Unicorn we have Meg Cabot, Kathleen Duey, Margo Lanagan, Garth Nix, Naomi Novik and Diana Petefreund.

Team Zombie boasts the names Libba Bray, Cassandra Clare, Alaya Dawn Johnson, Maureen Hohnson, Carrie Ryan and Scott Westerfield.

Now, it has to be said that some of the featured stories are at the pointy-end of the Young Adult scale, and I wouldn’t recommend them to younger readers. There’s a reasonable amount of swearing, as well as some other icky stuff going on – yes, even ickier than dining out on live human brains. That being said, unlike many anthologies, there was barely a whiff of a rotten story between the pages (unlike rotting flesh). In fact, I found it difficult to pin-point a favourite, and there were certainly none that I wished I’d skimmed over. Each author managed to create a new or slightly different take on their chosen side of the mythological fence.

The Care and Feeding of Your Baby Killer Unicorn by Diana Peterfreund was a stand-out, mainly because it’s so easy to empathise with main character, Wen. Quiet, religious and confused, Wen is struggling to find her own ideals and value system away from that of her parents. Her world is up-ended when she discovers she’s irresistible to Unicorns, and able to communicate with the dreaded killers on a telepathic level. In this world, Unicorns have come back from the brink of extinction and are blood-thirsty people-eaters living in the local woods and resemble goats rather than horses. Through a series of events, Wen finds herself as the guardian of a newborn Unicorn. Can she keep her secret? Should she dispose of the mewing, helpless predator straight away and be done with it? Will she go to hell if she doesn’t?

On a lighter note, Children of the Revolution by Maureen Johnson had me snickering with the kind of sick humour you know is just wrong. A teen lands herself a position as nanny to the five young children of a famous American actress in a small English town. There’s something not quite right about these kids, they don’t go outside, they moan rather than speak, and they’re fed via a computerised conveyor belt as their mother has no physical contact with them. All hell breaks loose when the mother – a beautiful, tattooed brunette with an equally famous partner and a penchant for adoption – leaves on a night out and the babysitter decides all the children need is a cuddle…

Princess Prettypants by Meg Cabot has the most traditional Unicorn, right down to Jasmine scented, rainbow farts that turn sulphuric when her new owner is upset or angry.

Alaya Dawn Johnson’s Love Will Tear Us Apart is my favourite of the zombie stories. Unusually for a short story, it is divided up into four chapters, bouncing around from present to past, telling the tale of Philip Grayson, a victim of a brain-devouring prion that he partially recovers from. I say partially, because the infection leaves him with a certain craving for human brains – and arms, and legs, and torsos. But Love Will Tear Us Apart is more than just zombie-fare; it’s a touching love story between Grayson and Jack (also known as the ‘Mac and Cheese’). Just how much restraint can one brain-eater have with the love of his life?

Bougainvillea by Carrie Ryan is another of Team Zombie’s that’s worth a mention. Now, I have to admit I was one of the minority who didn’t adore Ryan’s ‘The Forest of Hands and Teeth’. I found it tedious reading. However, even though Bougainvillea is set in the same world after The Return, I really enjoyed the voice of this new character and the island setting. In fact, I hope to read more about her in the future.

The Third Virgin by Kathleen Duey is another completely different take on the mythology of the Unicorn. Told from the un-named Unicorn’s point of view, this story touches on addiction, loneliness and the implications of immortality. Duey’s Unicorn has the traditional healing qualities of many old fairytales, but this beast also has the power to steal years (and life) from his victims and has a particular penchant for human babies.

I finished this anthology still undecided on the whole Team Unicorn versus Team Zombie argument. Both sides had riveting, bloody, sweet, gory and tender tales to tell. Although having a strange (or sick) sense of humour certainly helps, I’d recommend it to anyone who enjoys seeing mythology turned on its head and made new again.

Oh, and don’t forget to check out the delightfully gross illustrations and endpapers. Yes, endpapers!

Zombies vs Unicorns edited by Holly Black and Justine Larbalestier.

November 22^nd, 2010 by Allen & Unwin Children.

Paperback, 407 pages.

ISBN 9781742375502