1. Horticulture is his strong point. Mushrooms are his specialty. Though, unless you want fairy rings all through your front lawn, I wouldn’t fiddle with your garden.

2. His wings are fragile, so be careful when hugging, snuggling with and walking next to him.

3. He’ll appreciate a bunch of flowers, probably more than your average boyfriend. So when he’s done something wonderful and made your day special, return the favour and give him a pretty posy of pansies.

4. Fairies don’t do to well when coming into contact with iron. But don’t let this aversion fool you into doing his chores… very rarely, these days, is an iron actually made from iron. He has two arms and a heartbeat, let him press his own shirts.

5. Despite people’s misconceptions male fairies are not pixies. Pixies don’t have wings… pretty elementary when you think about it, and I’m sure your friends would be looked down upon for making the mistake. You may need to educate them.

6. When the parental units are meeting for the first time, be sure to keep your folks out of the fairy circles and make sure they’re not going to use the word fairy instead of very. It will really ping off his ‘rents.

7. No matter how amusing you may find ‘Lady Cottington’s Pressed Fairies Book’ by Terry Jones funny, it will be enough to send your special guy into inconsolable fits of tears. How would you like it if your aunt’s last moments will forever be immortalised with her butt hanging out?  Remove the book from your library.

8. He may or may not have the ability to fly thanks to those wings of his. They may be spectacularly huge, and they may be a smidge too small. As with most other things, it doesn’t have too much to do with the size of them but how he uses them that matters.

9. If you ever have to look after his little sister, try the Winx club. Just try not to get the theme song stuck in your head or you’ll be begging for someone to sing you the Smurfs song just for something a little different.

10. When deciding to get both your friends and his friends together, refrain from describing his mates as ‘a bunch of fairies’; it may be taken the wrong way, and they’re an extremely masculine bunch… even if they are a bunch of fairies.

I have only been on Facebook for about a month… maybe a little more. I had been nagged, poked, prodded, invited, ordered and bugged to death to join for years, I tell you, YEARS. This insistence had been by family and friends, whom I thought loved me, and cared about my daily routine… Nope, they just wanted to point and laugh at my newfound addiction, just like the person who finally convinced them to join.

Anyways, I made the decision to sell my soul and  fill out the online form; and that was hard enough as it was. Do I fill out a regular profile, or do I fill out one that people ‘like’ rather than ‘friend’? Do I use an alias or my real name? Which email account do I want 50,000 useless emails going to every day?

After all that sweating and stressing over the account that will be there until the apocalypse happens, or the government finally bans FB – which for some people is pretty much the same thing, I then have to go and add information to my profile.

You generally have a bio of yourself, a list of TV shows, Movies, Books, Music, and other assorted useless factoids to accumulate. Then you start trying to friend people. In my case, because I chose an Alias, I got SO many refusals I was starting to feel like a Nigel-no-friends. But when I worked out you can put a message with your friend request, most of the time, I got an acceptance.

After finding enough friends to make myself feel like less of a loser, my brain started ticking over as to just how many people are on FB. I did some really wonky sums in my head and realized there is bound to be at least 5 people on here from school, 2 of whom might be the girls my entire science class saw getting changed outside the sports shed in grade 11, those girls that really weren’t very nice to me at all. The ones I want to see if they got all fat and ugly… just because I can. For the record, nope, they’re still beautiful. Damn it!

With stalker hour over with, I started getting used to putting up status updates and sharing information via my wall. This task still pings me off as FB seems to have a constant case of PMS. If I want to do something, it doesn’t want to let me. If I don’t want to go somewhere it’ll hijack me and throw me there. If I’d like to log out the thing sends me to contemplate my profile settings, which, as far as I can tell, is the online equivalent of sending me to the naughty corner.
So what have I learned from my month of being on FB?

If you need to get work done, don’t log in. If you need to get somewhere on time, don’t log in. If you have a task that MUST get done, don’t log in. But if you’re bored and want to go spend a whole afternoon sitting waiting for your equally bored friends, to let you know JUST how bored they really are, then sure log in, sit down and start perusing.

The thing I DO like about FB, apart from the ability to semi-stalk people from a nice safe distance, is the connection factor. Up-to-date information in real time.

The one thing I can promise you though, is there is NO way in hell you’ll all get me sitting down and watching the movie about FB. Just being on there is enough for me.

By the way feel free to add me. Search for ‘Friday Ketchup’. I promise I won’t make you feel like a Nigel-no-friends.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVA047JAQsk

MUSIC: David Ippolito – Facebook

You probably met him in the fruit and veg section of the supermarket, your hands touching over the best looking cos lettuce. He took you out to dinner at the local vegetarian restaurant and you’re happily feeding each other carrot sticks.

1 – BEWARE… chocolate comes into the relationship come the end of December. From then on, you’ll be in trouble if you lay a hand on his chocolate stash. So buy your own or swear off the brown stuff until after April.

2 – It may not be such a good idea owning books like 101 funny bunny jokes, as most of them were written about his cousins. He’s not proud of how stupid they behave, and knows people look down on him because of them. Tell blonde jokes instead.

3 – Public opinion is he should be laid off, in support of the Easter Bilby. This is breaking his heart as a keen chocolatier. Sure it’s unnatural that a bunny is laying chocolate eggs, but really, tradition is important… right?

4 – Don’t forget to make sure he has a mosquito net over the bed and marigolds and chrysanthemums planted around the house and in pots, and there is always a bottle of RID on hand. Myxomatosis makes him feel pretty crummy and since mozzies are one of the major spreaders of the disease we need him to stay safe.

5 – He cannot holiday in Queensland, as rabbits are illegal.  So much for the two of you helping the state get back on its feet after the floods. No wonder he has to do a midnight flit around the state to hand out eggs.

6 – He’s the only rabbit that isn’t thinking entirely about creating the next generation. He knows how hard childbirth is; have you seen the size of some of those eggs OUCH!, so he’s not going to force you to go for the whole Beatrix Potter set, especially not before you’re Mr. and Mrs. E Bunny.

7 – If he does start asking for your hand in marriage, make sure the ring isn’t anything less than one carat… and watch out for those pesky stems. They wither and wilt. Diamonds are a girl’s best friend.

8 – Might not be a good idea to bug him after he’s been to the gym in preparation for the big hop around the globe; especially if the chocoholic’s anonymous group is holding their meeting in the yoga room. He’s likely to be a bit of a hot, cross bunny.

9 – Just because his ancestors live in holes doesn’t mean he wants to. Have you seen the price of Lindt chocolate these days? We’re talking penthouse and I don’t mean the girly magazine.

10 – Facy dress parties are a little stressfull for him, so throwing him one for his birthday probably isn’t the best idea. You can go as a playboy bunny, but what does the Easter bunny go dressed as; A March Hare? Definitely a dilemma worth a avoiding.

~Happy Hoppy Easter!~

Bel Says:

Whether it be the end of a long shopping trip or a day of exams, there is nothing quite like a foot pampering to ease a little of your stress.
Now I can say I have never had my feet professionally pedicured. I have no idea what it’s like.  I do however love the pedicures I give myself.

I start out with a bucket of warm water with marbles in the bottom and a few drops of essential oils designed to distress and energize, usually a mix of peppermint and lavender oil.  I sit with my feet in the bucket moving them around on the marbles to give a nice massage to the souls of my feet.

If you’re lucky enough to be doing this in the company of a friend you can then do the next thing I adore. I start off by using a peppermint based moisturizer to massage the souls and tops of my feet and then I move on to a Brazilian Toe Massage.

The person receiving the massage lies comfortably on their back with their eyes closed and palms facing upwards. The massage begins with the masseur lightly holding the tips of both the central toes with their central fingers and thumbs. After three minutes has elapsed, the masseur moves onto the next toe. Each toe should be held for exactly 3 minutes before moving onto the next toe, and each toe should be held by the corresponding finger and thumb except in the case of the big toe, which is held by the first two fingers and the thumb.
Now if you’re still awake you then return the favour for your friend.

After doing that you’ll probably both be rather floaty. So you can either stop there or move on to exfoliating, shaping and adding polish to your nails. Remember to add a clear nail polish or base coat before adding a coloured nail varnish.

If you’re feeling adventurous you could try to create something like the art created by annasbeautysecrets here  httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U4nEejHbH6w&feature=fvwrel

Our feet are probably the most abused body part, between being on them all day, wearing shoes that pinch, cracked heels and festy nails, they deserve a pampering every now and again.

Take a load off and relax for a little while.

10 – He’s known for his shoe making skills so you’d better not just want him for his ability to whip up copies of the latest Manolo Blahniks or Jimmy Choos. Besides, he’ll generally only make one of each shoe. Unless you’re planning on starting a new fashion trend, or have only one leg, this skill will be useless to you.

9 – He’s going to be vertically challenged. Picking him up for close contact isn’t very manly so that’ll be out of the question. You’re either going to have to be okay doing a fair bit of bending over or carry around a step stool for him to be able to reach you for kisses and hugs.

8 – Leprechauns are stereotypically really old men, but old men had to be young at some stage. If you’re lucky enough to snag a young one, be ready to have a long lasting relationship, he’ll be around longer than you.

7 – Hope you like facial hair. I’m sure it’s in the Leprechaun handbook that they all have to have some sort of face fungus. Maybe try and get him to grow a Shannon Noll flavour saver, they may look silly, but it’s better than the whole kit and caboodle.

6 – If he shows you his pot of gold, you better be ready to act nonchalant over it. The quickest way to lose your Leprechaun is to care more about his money than about him.

5 – You’ll have to like Irish music. U2 are probably the best of the worst, but if you’re unlucky enough to have a Sensitive New Age Irish Leprechaun (SNAIL) you’re going to be listening to hours of Celtic Woman, the Corrs, the Cranberries and the Riverdance soundtrack. It might be an idea to bring along your MP3 player when at his house.

4 – When heading out in public, be sure to make him leave his shillelagh at home. The Irish aren’t known for suffering fools. When wanting to knock some sense into an idiot, having a weapon at hand is not such a great idea.

3 – Be careful what you wish for. He may well offer to grant you three wishes; please say no to this offer, no matter how enticing it may be. The best way to make your dreams a reality is to work hard at making them happen. This will make you both feel better and there are less likely to be unforseen repercussions. It will probably make him respect you more as well.

2 – If he gives you a claddagh ring, be sure he puts it on your right ring finger with the heart facing towards your knuckle. This means you’re romantically involved. If your Dad sees it move to your left ring finger, your Leprechaun might want to get a head start… because on that hand, it means you’re either engaged or married. Mixing it up may be the last mistake he ever makes.

1 – There are two things nobody can argue about the Irish: they’re lucky and they have a great sense of humour. May I suggest subscribing him to Liam the Leprechaun on youtube. Funny stuff, even for us regular folk. httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yrb4L2F0sXw

Good Luck!