By the Bel: 10 Tips For Dating a Fairy

1. Horticulture is his strong point. Mushrooms are his specialty. Though, unless you want fairy rings all through your front lawn, I wouldn’t fiddle with your garden.

2. His wings are fragile, so be careful when hugging, snuggling with and walking next to him.

3. He’ll appreciate a bunch of flowers, probably more than your average boyfriend. So when he’s done something wonderful and made your day special, return the favour and give him a pretty posy of pansies.

4. Fairies don’t do to well when coming into contact with iron. But don’t let this aversion fool you into doing his chores… very rarely, these days, is an iron actually made from iron. He has two arms and a heartbeat, let him press his own shirts.

5. Despite people’s misconceptions male fairies are not pixies. Pixies don’t have wings… pretty elementary when you think about it, and I’m sure your friends would be looked down upon for making the mistake. You may need to educate them.

6. When the parental units are meeting for the first time, be sure to keep your folks out of the fairy circles and make sure they’re not going to use the word fairy instead of very. It will really ping off his ‘rents.

7. No matter how amusing you may find ‘Lady Cottington’s Pressed Fairies Book’ by Terry Jones funny, it will be enough to send your special guy into inconsolable fits of tears. How would you like it if your aunt’s last moments will forever be immortalised with her butt hanging out?  Remove the book from your library.

8. He may or may not have the ability to fly thanks to those wings of his. They may be spectacularly huge, and they may be a smidge too small. As with most other things, it doesn’t have too much to do with the size of them but how he uses them that matters.

9. If you ever have to look after his little sister, try the Winx club. Just try not to get the theme song stuck in your head or you’ll be begging for someone to sing you the Smurfs song just for something a little different.

10. When deciding to get both your friends and his friends together, refrain from describing his mates as ‘a bunch of fairies’; it may be taken the wrong way, and they’re an extremely masculine bunch… even if they are a bunch of fairies.