Old News

Published June 29, 2010
Category: Bec Says

Bec Says

Because I couldn’t help myself, I went looking at plastic surgery disasters sites online. Yeah yeah, before you judge me, don’t pretend you haven’t checked some of this stuff out too.

So then I Googled cosmetic surgery in my area and wa-hey!!! There are 6 places within 10 minutes’ drive of my house that can surgically enhance me. How convenient.

While I was Googling, I found this from a Queensland Health report:

There is some evidence that there may be an increase in the number of Queensland children and young people under the age of 18 using cosmetic surgery procedures and using solariums for cosmetic tanning.

Stop it, will you! You’re wasting precious resources and setting the bar even higher for the rest of us.

Come on! UNDER 18???!!! What have they even got to work with at your delicate age? Isn’t your skin so beautifully elastic and taut that one slice would send it skimming off your head like peel off a grape? It doesn’t have to be painful, though… According to the Pond’s Institue, a few swipes with their age-defying towelettes will fight the visible signs of ageing *while you cleanse*. And who would question an *institute*?

These guys have winter specials, if anyone’s interested. And I notice you can buy gift vouchers. Surely there’s no better way to cement a friendship than to offer a voucher to a cosmetic surgeon? “Sondra…You know I love you…But those drooping lids of yours are a constant distraction…”

Seriously, though. Why is there this awful preoccupation with youthfulness? When I see these faces, I don’t think they need facelifts… I marvel at the character and wisdom in each line and fold…

These faces are like road maps of the years, that show all the joy, all the pain… Why would you want to erase any of it?