Beaus with Bel: 10 Tips for Dating a Yeti

10 tips for dating… a Yeti.

10 – Hope you like it cold, he’s going to need to follow winter around the world. Suggest a year-long ski trip to the parental units.

9 – If they don’t go for that you could try for a student exchange to Alaska, Greenland, or for somewhere a little closer, Antarctica.

8 – If they don’t go for that then you’ll need the remote control for the air conditioning. They may figure out quickly it would have been cheaper to go on that 12 month ski trip.

7 – Don’t expect him to shave off all his body hair. It would be a long, arduous process and the drains will just end up clogged… He’ll need to do it enough to blend in, but if you’re with him, you like your guys furry anyway. Do you really wanting him using up all your Schick for women shaving gel?

6 – If you’re on the school paper, do not, I repeat, DO NOT slap his image all over the front page. Who knows how far it will end up? Do you really want him on National TV with Melissa Doyle asking him for tangle removal tips?

5 – Now as far as your parents are concerned your new beau is just some guy who is follicly blessed, but how are you going to introduce him? Some suggestions of what not to introduce him as if you’re ‘rents know how to use google are… Jo Bran (means man eater) Migo (means wild man), probably the best one is Matty ~Meh-teh~ (means man bear). A normal and popular name is less likely to have them googling him.

4 – Keep your FB page a beau photo free area. Who knows who will put two and two together and get 4, as in 4 million dollars, if he’s captured and pulled to pieces by scientists?

3 – Make sure you have your passport up to date. He may be happy enough to stay with you, but it’d be nice to be able to go home with him to Nepal, China, India or Mongolia to meet his parents.

2 – He might like a laugh occasionally so maybe play him a movie with an abominable snow man in it. Monsters Inc., The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, Yeti: Curse of the Snow Demon, and Episode 17 of Season One Scooby Doo entitled “That’s Snow Ghost.”

1 – If neither of you have been to Disney World or Disneyland, May I suggest the Expedition Everest which has a 25-foot-tall animatronic Yeti in it or the Matterhorn Bobsleds, which features 3 audio animatronic Abominable Snowmen. He’d get a giggle and you’d both get to buy the matching Mickey and Minnie Mouse hats. Awww cute!