By the Bel : Ten Tips for Dating a Telepath

1. It’s impossible to surprise him.

2. He already knows the parental meeting is going to be a nightmare. Don’t be surprised if he tries to avoid the situation. It may be for the best.

3. He’ll know if you’re feeling sad and he’ll know the best way to cheer you up. Think big!

4. He’ll know if you’re looking at other guys; avoid at all costs, unless you accompany the glances with a compliment on his looks, prowess or intelligence.

5. Avoid wearing aluminium foil over your head. It’s the most obvious sign of a guilty conscience, not to mention it looks stupid and only works on alien telepathy.

6. He may sometimes forget you’re not also telepathic, so keep the communication to speech as much as you can. It’ll prevent you falling behind on the goings on of his life.

7. Expect to be paying more for your mobile phone bill than he will. After all, all he has to do is ring ring and he’s on the line.

8. Don’t forget to keep things verbal in public. Thinking at him all the time should only be for when you’re alone. Things could get … ahem … embarrassing otherwise.

9. Be careful what you think about his friends; they may be stupid, they may be gross, but he doesn’t need to know you think that.

10. Enjoy your time together. He’s the only boyfriend you’ll ever have who will know you inside and out.